you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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