Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
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