We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
