if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Randomize
