I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Randomize
