i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
