Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Randomize
