Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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