I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize