coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
