and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
