I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize
