so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Randomize
