That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
