Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Randomize
