oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
Randomize
