Got a toothbrush?
your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
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