I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
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