somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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