I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize
