that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
I just found a bag of teeth...
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Randomize
