Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Randomize
