You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
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