I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
