I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
