You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
