people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
