I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize
