One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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