Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
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