Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
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