He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
