i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
And my parents said I crawled through the house
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Randomize
