Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Randomize
