What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
Randomize
