no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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