I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
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