tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
