He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
Are my feet made of real feet?
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
Is Oprah even human
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Randomize
