I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
she peed on how many people?
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Randomize