Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
