Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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