Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
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