ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Randomize
