Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
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