Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Randomize
