somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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