It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize
