the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
