whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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