Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
Randomize
