We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
wow bdsm is so cute
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
